California — Recovered Journal History

September 21

We've had a lovely day at Sonoma County Beach. It was foggy at the beach but the air was warm. We were treated with seals in the surf. They swam up close to shore too. Nikole was in the water and she came running out saying mom I think there are seals in the water. Something with whiskers came swimming at me! The waves here on the west coast are massive. There were many warnings about sneaker waves, rip tides and undercurrents. It is intimidating to say the least. The kids love the water but the waves are just too powerful for them to really get into. Today we kept them on the outskirts. We had a wonderful time discovering little agates. At least we think they are agates. They are brightly colored blue and green stones. We found other colorful rocks too. Most of them are really small but they were neat to collect. We also got a good supply of fire wood for tonight's campfire. As usual we are burning drift wood and left over firewood from someone else's abandoned fire. It all burns. Ron has also discovered burning pine cones. They are really large and heavy here. They provide good fuel for the fire. They are nice to watch burn as the air flows through the layers.

Last night we had a small fire. Ron purchased fire wood. Zakary couldn't take part though. He was learning a lesson about telling the truth. He lied to his father so I told him he could not participate in roasting marshmallows. It was an opportunity to sink in how important the truth is. He responded well. He really understood and caught himself the next few sentences. He wanted to say he forgot when he really new he didn't want to so he said " I forgot well no really I didn't want to that's the truth." It's nice that he's realizing that the truth is not the story he'd like us to believe. A lot of the time he's telling a story. I've noticed he likes to be the hero so to speak. He thinks of the best outcome and then he tells us that's what happened. For a while I didn't know even if he knew the difference between the truth and a story. Now I know he does. He is growing up. He's been eating more too. We don't have to push food into him. In fact it seems as if he's hungry all the time.

California hasn't been as exciting as I thought it would be. The beach today was the highlight so far. Yesterday was a disaster. We had a mountain of laundry so we tried to find a laundry mat as this campground didn't have one. The closest was a 15 minute ride to the next town Guerneville. Well Guerneville is a really laid back town. (I didn't know the exact meaning of laid back when the waitress said it the previous night at the pizza place. The meaning is, it's full of gay people, cross dressers, and drag queens.) There were a lot of street people here too. Needless to say we don't fit in and it's a really weird atmosphere. When we got to the one little laundry mat it was full, and Ron thought it was dirty, so we drove another 30 minutes back to the highway to find another. There was one in Santa Rosa. It was a clean place but not friendly. There is much too much traffic here for me. And there are people all over the place. Homeless or just hanging out I'm not sure. It was unnerving. Ron and I got into a tiff while folding the laundry and we've been in a mood ever since. Part of it is my fault for dredging up the past. Part of it is his fault for not realizing exactly how badly his mistake will affect the rest of our lives. He teases me in a way that I find insulting. Then he gets upset when I get mad at his insulting joke.

Oh men and women are so different. I don't want to be a prude but some things are just not funny to me at all and I don't want to pretend they are. I suppose part of the problem is my insecurity. Instead of being teased about it I would prefer reassuring. Ron isn't that type of guy. He never was. So I'm expecting him to change and he's wanting me to be as accepting of his ways as I always was. I realize that I'm the one who's done a lot of changing. I am not the same person he married. My relationship with the Lord has taken precedence over my life. I want more to please God than Ron and that is hard for him. It's hard for me too. There are times when I think it would have been easier to not work this out and start over with just me and the kids. There would be one less person demanding of me and I would be free to do more of the things I think God would have me do. And then Ron would take the kids and I would have time away from them too. As I say that I know that God does want us to work it out so in order to do what He wants I must work this out. Thus pick up my cross daily so to speak.

It's amazing how on certain days everything is great and we are together looking forward to the future. Then a few statements set me off and I'm thinking it's just too much to ask of me and I have no faith in a future with Ron. I think that the next time the opportunity presents itself he will take it and I'll be hurt all over again. All this happens when I start remembering the past. I must press forward like Paul said. Forgetting the past and the people we were. I need to concentrate on who we are now. I need to open up communication with him. When I get upset with him I tend to stop talking and let my anger simmer. It would be better for me to confront him with my needs. Bare my heart so to speak. That is a difficult thing to do. I'm afraid of getting a negative response and then my need for reassurance will only be greater than it is now.

I know no matter what I have God. He is enough. I must bring my need to Him and I do. I think He's sick of hearing me pray for the same thing over and over. Jesus told us to continue to pray though. Then like the judge God will grant me my wish because of my persistence. To get rid of me so to speak. I pray that Nancy will come to Christ too. That is a desire of my heart. Why? I don't know, but I will not give up on her. I believe that God puts people in our lives and that we have a duty to pray and lead them to the Lord. I can't be the one to lead her there but I will certainly keep praying.

Yesterday for the first time I really got a case of homesickness. I began to think about what I would be doing back home. How I was comfortable there and how I know a lot of people. I always miss my church family but this was different. I missed Fitchburg. I know that's hard to believe but it's true. I miss the "everyone know your name" feeling. I miss knowing how to get somewhere. I missed the people I would see at work. I missed the Mart buses. Yup I had it real bad. Who could ever miss Mart buses? I was really feeling out of place. California, or at least the parts we've been too could never be home. I am looking forward to Arizona and New Mexico. I'm getting tired of the constant move. The not working, the insecurity. I'm ready to start our new lives. I am so impatient. I need to enjoy the journey. I can see all the positive that is happening and I know God has a plan. I chafe so for no good reason. This journal is a wonderful way to wine about all my supposed problems then kick myself in the can and realize how good I have it. I am blessed abundantly exceedingly beyond all I can think to ask yet I complain like a fool. Thank God I have this opportunity to reflect and see that my unhappiness begins in me and that I can change all of that myself. God has given me so much. How dare I be unhappy. I have everyday with my husband and children. We are blessed with new adventures each day. I get to see all the wonder and beauty God has given us in this nation. I am learning new things every day. What an awesome opportunity I have. Praise God!

September 22

We drove into San Francisco today. It was about an hours drive from here. We ran into a little traffic jam along the way but made up for the time with a call home. It was nice to be in touch. We haven't had any e-mail access in a long time it seems. Our cell phone didn't even have a tower to update in San Fran. So the next update won't be until we can get access. The libraries allow us to use their computers for mail but not to use the line to update.

The city was great. We got in around 1:30. The bridge itself was fogged in but the land on either side was sunny. We drove down Lombard St. It was a very steep, curvy, cobblestone road. Ron said it's famous. I can believe it. I have never seen another road like it that's for sure. It's not something you travel when your in a hurry. There are houses all along it too. I couldn't imagine living there. The kids really enjoyed the view this time. They wanted to ride a trolley car. Rice a Roni so to speak. We did. It cost $16.00 to get to the business district and back. It was worth the experience. It was sort of crowded and scary too. We had to stand, the kids wanted to, and the car went down these huge hills and stopped at street crossings. I'm amazed that there aren't accidents all the time. When you get on and off cars go by on both sides. They even have these "tourist smackers". They are yellow poles that separate traffic. If your hanging out too far they will get you. I would imagine that it would hurt a lot. But it was fun too. The view was awesome.

In the city we bought the kids jackets. Nikole forgot hers and they had waterproof fleece jackets. They were just what I was looking for at home. We got them for $19 a piece after the 8% sales tax. The kids loved them. They say San Francisco on them and they are reversible. We are all very pleased with the purchase. The city was a lot like Boston with the poor and the street performers. But it was clean. The shops reminded me more of New York. You know the same camera shop on every block.

We were down by pier 39. We could see lots of sail boats and ships in the harbor. The weather was warm away from the water until 4 o'clock or so. We were standing in line for the trolley and the wind picked up. It got uncomfortably cold after that. Our trolley line was supposed to be an hour. It was more like an hour and one half. A trolley got stuck and we had to wait for them to clear it. Luckily we had those nice new jackets. Once we got to the business district the weather was warmer. No wind between the buildings. Ron surprised me with roses. Zakary said he bought them for me. It was nice to be treated special by my gentlemen.

The business district had a different atmosphere than at the water. It seemed rougher in a way. Maybe it was because the sun had set behind the buildings and we were tired. On our way back we stopped in a Barnes and Nobles. We went to get the not so new Magic Tree House. The kids got to choose a paperback too. Nikole got the Boxcar Children number 2 and Zakary got a beginning reader about a space dog. While we were getting ready to go the fire alarm went off. At first we all just looked then I said "that's a fire alarm we need to go" then the announcement was made that we had to leave now. It was a very orderly evacuation. We didn't see fire but there was smoke and a smell. We managed to get them to let us pay for our books and then we left for home.

The ride home was pretty easy. The traffic was lighter than going in. Over all it was a wonderful day. Ron and I got to talk last night at the campfire and things are have gotten resolved. It's amazing how God is quick to work when I focus on being thankful for what I have instead of complaining about what I don't have. Again I am so thankful for the lessons I am learning. Today my mom asked if I was getting tired of traveling. Yesterday I would have said yes but today I feel rejuvenated. As long as things are right between Ron and I then the traveling isn't as much of a stress and bother. I'm looking forward to Sacramento and then lake Tahoe. I am looking forward to getting to Arizona and settling down too. Either way I need to be patient and accepting of the work God is doing in me. I need to remember we are works in progress.

September 28

What a wonderful three days we have had. Each day we met wonderful women who gave us lots of information on the Sacramento area.

On Wednesday we went into Old Sacramento. We found it on Monday when we drove in to find a Wal Mart. We got lost on Monday and ended up in Old Sacramento. There is a historic train museum down town but it was closed. We were able to see a few outside engines. It was a thrill for Zak. We found it easily on Wednesday when we went in to the free jazz concert. While we were listening we saw a woman with a small brown lab. Well you know us dog lovers. It wasn't long and we had made fast friends with Jessica, the dog, and her owner Dr. Christianson, I believe it her first name was Jo-Ellen. Originally she was from New Jersey. She has been in the Sacramento area for a while and she helped me think about my career options. Here in California they are hurting for teachers. I had thought about library school but I can get a teachers certificate in less time and then I can have the same hours and days off as the kids, which is just what I want. She was so much fun to talk to. She even invited us girls over to a tea party. She had a plan for the boys too. Unfortunately we had to leave the next day. It was a blessing to have such a nice person tell us about the Sacramento and surrounding area. We topped the night off to a visit to the sweet shop were we paid $10.00 for free samples and $5.00 worth of candy. Oh well, it was the atmosphere and the kids will remember the night.

We stayed in the Canyon Creek Resort. It was very hot when we arrived. The high in Sacramento that day was 104 degrees. The sun was strong and we didn't see a cloud the three days we were there. We spent two days in the pool. The water seemed very cold. It was probably around 70 or so. A 30 degree difference made a difference I think. Although the days were very hot the evenings cooled of nicely. We opened the windows and slept comfortably. In fact early mornings were cool. Also there was a great dog behind us. His name was Max. He became my friend very quickly.

We left Sacramento early and made our way to Ghost Mountain Campground about an hour away from Lake Tahoe. We ran into our first major problem with the motor home. The leveling jacks wouldn't go down. Ron tried to fix it while we went to the pool.

Again we were blessed with new friends. While at the pool we made friends with Raeann and her daughter Mackenzie. They showed us around the ghost town at the ranch and the horses. The girls shared candy from the sweet shop. I think Ron and Zak got one piece. It was getting late in the afternoon so Ron invited them over to eat a steak dinner. They accepted and 'Ron prepared a delicious dinner. It was fun to have another mom to talk to. Her daughter Mackenzie was 7 as well so she and Nikole had a lot in common. They played Cat's Cradle and watched a little TV. At this campground we had reception it had been a while. Raeann had lots of information for me as well. She agreed that California is hurting for teachers. It seems as if the Lord is giving me lots of hints.

We picked up a job finder back in Winters. There was an ad for a management team to manage apartment buildings. I thought what a wonderful mission field. Ron didn't agree. He felt we would be in very dangerous places. I though free rent and a paying job, sounds good. There was also ads for surrogate mothers. I qualify in the age categories. They pay $20,000 a baby. I would love to be pregnant! Ron was against that too. His quote was "what if you die in child birth?" So that is out too.

That was the message I received from the women we met the next night at the campground. Her name is Christine and she is Samuel's mom. Samuel is Zakary's newest best buddy. They had so much fun playing together. They were inseparable from the first moment that they met. Sam came over after our disappointing trip to Lake Tahoe. The boys played with trains and men. Zakary ate his dinner over Sam's trailer. Then they finished the evening at our trailer while I got to speak with Christine and her mom. It was so much fun. She is a sister in Christ. We have the same biblical view on raising our children. It was refreshing to be uplifted and reminded what is really important to teach the kids. I was telling her about the management job and she said as long as your under the authority of your husband all will be well. She also explained that there are many very dangerous places that we don't want to live in. They do have drive bys and child abductions on a fairly regular basis. She suggested before we think of settling in any area we should research the area. I got a lot of information about the surrounding areas. As we heard before Marysville and Yuba city are reasonable still but to find work it will be a commute. Teaching will allow me to find work just about anywhere. Christine knows a woman who got a job teaching 5th grade while she was going to school to get her accreditation. So when she graduated she had a year of actual teaching experience. So the need is real. The big downside of California is the very high tax rate, 8% on everything. Utilities are really high too. Water is outrageous. Raeann pays $100.00 a month! Her house is no bigger than the one we had at home and she doesn't water a lawn! It seems as if the water from the north is being sold to the people in the south so the water prices went up out here. The housing market has skyrocketed too. Ron and I would like to stay debt free so that really limits our ability to purchase. The foreclosures are up and the interest rates are down that may work in our favor. That is of coarse if we decide to live in CA.

I also me a nice couple that were behind us. They gave us some English walnuts. They have 35 trees and they supply their neighbors with walnuts. The trees were on the land when they bought it. She and I talked while she waited for her sons to show up. It was fun. She reminded me of my mother. We shared craft ideas. I know Nikole would have loved to visit her craft room. She shared her secrets of the area with me as well. Over all I did a lot of socializing over the past three days. It was fun.

Today we arrived at Bass Lake Campground. While I was in the bathroom with Nikole Ron missed the turn for Rt. 49. We stayed on 120 which took us into a small town called Groveland. Because of that wrong turn we got to be in the big parade. It was embarrassing and funny all at the same time. The towns folks all waved and smiled. It was the big 49er appreciation day. Unfortunately we also miss the next turn off. There was no sign that said J20 so we ended up going through Yosemite with the R.V towing a jeep. Not the best way to go through. The hills were steep. In fact we smelled the brakes at one point. We were also having other problems too. The wipers weren't working, the jacks were still not working, and Ron discovered that the battery cable connecting the two house batteries had been eaten by acid and they were no longer connected. It was a misty day but thank God we didn't need them. There was a little stress going through those narrow roads. We finally made it after 5 and one half hours. It was supposed to be 4 hours. We got up early so the kids would have a shorter ride. That backfired. Oh well it's the journey right? We did get the map to the park so now we have a plan. We plan on going back on Monday. It's supposed to be sunny and 70. Today is cool and cloudy. We have the heat on.

When we arrived we asked about getting the R.V looked at. Thank God again there was a R.V doctor who was in the campground fixing someone else's trailer. We happened to park two sites away. Scott the R.V doctor came over and explained that the cable was probably the culprit as to why the jacks didn't work. He gave us directions into town to the auto parts store. Ron was able to fix the problem himself for under $10.00. If Scott would have worked on it today it would have been at least $105.00 in labor. If we wanted to wait until Monday it would have been $75.00. Thanks to his suggestions Ron got it done. I knew Ron could do it he just needed reassurance. We also has two burnt fuses. That was the problem with the wipers. Again we thank God that Ron had a fuse kit with a tool to check the fuses. He pulled each one and two of them were bad. The one to the jacks and the one to the wipers. So tonight we have are problem free and the stress is reduces. We also have cable TV which means Christian television! Yeah!!!! God is so good to us.

OCTOBER 3

Our trip into Yosemite was nauseating. The road leading into the park was so curvy and twisty the children and I were uncomfortable. I can't understand why they didn't make the roads straighter out here. In fact it's been so long since we've driven a straight road I can't remember what it's like! Any way the park was nice. The sun was out but the wind was blowing. We dressed inappropriately. I don't know why I didn't think to bring coats but I didn't. We did have water though. We decided to hike the 1.1 mile Sentinel trail. It lead to a 360 degree view of the park. It was an awesome site. Spoiled by one very cold Zakary who couldn't stop complaining enough to look around. He did well until we got into the wind at the top then he couldn't take it any more. Now picture this serene site with a whiny 6 year old constantly complaining. Needless to say we took a few quick pictures then headed back to the jeep. Our fault for not preparing. They did have fun on the trail. Ron and Nikole tried to scare us by hiding behind a rock and growling like a bear. My feet left the ground when I spun to see what the noise was. They laughed all the way down the trail. After we got back to the jeep we put the heat on and drove to town to buy soup. Zakary ate a whole can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup. Nik, Ron and I had Clam Chowder. We enjoyed Monday Night Football and soup. Thank God we didn't catch colds. He has kept us safe in His shadow this whole trip.

We have enjoyed our time here at the campground. It's been relaxing. The kids enjoyed the weekend off of school. I have learned why teachers don't like Monday. It's very hard to get the kids back to working when they have had time off.

Today it's Thursday. With our day of travel yesterday the kids missed a day of school. We did give them their math test but any other work wasn't worth the trouble. I don't know if I'm being too structured or if I'm allowing them to wear me out with bad behavior. Either way sometimes school is a big battle and I know it shouldn't be. Just another speed bump to get over. I'm sure it will be fine in two days.

Yesterday we took our bikes on the local trail and went to Avila beach. The kids did really well. We road about 6 miles round trip. Nikole didn't like riding out on the pier. The bumpy boards made her feel uneasy. I tried to point out we were riding our bikes above the ocean but she didn't seem to get it. Zak loved it. Again he was able to chase the gulls. (his new favorite past time) The beach here doesn't have the large waves that we have seen up the coast. Here I would let the kids go in the water. It's because Avila is in an inlet and the waves travel longer to get to the coast. There is actually only one wave that breaks at a time. We saw people in the surf here too. Even with the wind it was warm too. I think this will be the first place we will enjoy going into the ocean.

Tonight we are going to head into San Luis Obispo. We need to go to the post office. Hopefully we'll find a library. There is a farmers market at 5:00. We hear they block off the street and it's a really big deal with live music and face painting. The kids should have fun. I'm looking forward to buying almonds. We haven't had any yet. We have been enjoying the walnuts. They are delicious. There is so much food that is grown out here. Everything really. We even saw cotton fields on the way here.

The road we traveled on the way in was mostly agriculture. Then we went through the coastal range. That became pastures for livestock. There is a lot of space that is not inhabited. I'm sure the issue is water. The hills were covered in yellow grass. It was different from anything I've ever seen. It's an arid climate. California is very diverse.

October 4

We found the post office yesterday in San Luis Obispo. The kids loved the package Little Michelle sent. They were so excited we opened it right outside on the bench. From there we headed to the library. Unfortunately we couldn't get a library card. It seems to me that if the system is regional or county they don't allow temporary cards, or they cost too much. Anyway the kids got to use the computers and they read a couple of books. At this library they do have a bookmobile. We got to see it as it came in for the night. It is a brand new blue bird similar to ours. It's longer and it has more shelves. They didn't have to have a wheelchair ramp so they had more space inside. I didn't get to hear the generator but I'm sure it had to be quieter than the one in Fitchburg. It was great to visit with a fellow bookmobile driver. It's funny but it's sort of the same everywhere with relationships and patron use. He is a one man operation though and he travels up to 55 miles away from the library.

After that we wandered over to the farmers market. Wow is the only word to describe it. To think that they do it every Thursday. It's a fun time for parents and kids. There was a free petting zoo, moonwalk, and a clown that kept the kids occupied for quiet a while. All this was at the stairs of the Mission. On the main road there were farmers selling their crops. There were flowers, vegetables, fruits, and nuts. We found our almonds. We bought both raw and roasted. I prefer the raw while the rest of the family liked the roasted. There were also many different hot food choices like barbecue, pizza, chocolate, and Chinese. Out here they don't have duck sauce. We haven't had the sweet sauce since we left home. There were also a number of bands that played. We even saw trick bmx riders too. We all had a fun. There was a man who was making balloon animals for tips. When we walked by he was blowing up a balloon and I said to him "Nikole can turn that into a dog for you." So he gave her the balloon and she did. He then made a different dog (he said it was in chapter 4) for her and they traded. He also showed her how to make a monkey that he gave to Zak. They were charmed to say the least. Unfortunately her dog popped when Ron moved her piece of pizza. It only deflated half of the dog so now she has a handicapped balloon. That didn't cheer her up any on the way home though. It was a long day and she took it very hard.

Today is much cooler here. We did school in bed then went to see Jonah on the big screen. We haven't been to many theaters so it was a treat for the kids. It was a good movie. Zakary said he wasn't even scared. It seems to me every time he's been to the theater he's been scared so he's come to expect it. It's nice to hear the word of God preached on the big screen. I do hope that it becomes a regular thing. It would be nice to have a good movie to see every now and again.

We headed to Wal Mart to drop off the films we have accumulated. As we walked by the craft isle Nikole noticed glue pens. She knew exactly what she wanted to spend her money on. I also decided to pick up crocheting again. It's been years so I don't know how well I'll do but a woman assured me that I will remember once I get going. I never read a pattern before though so it will be a challenge. I'm looking forward to starting.

We have new neighbors across the way. The woman is an on fire Christian. It was nice to have a refreshing conversation about the power of prayer and God's word always being true. There is a service here on Sunday mornings. I really like worship on the grounds. It's so convenient and I get to meet all the other Christians. Our new neighbor invited us to the club house to play board games tonight. Hopefully I can convince the rest of the family to go. I know I will enjoy the night out.

October 7

I'm currently sitting pool side. I was typing a resume for Ron. He is trying to get a job with the company that owns this campground. We have been enjoying our stay here. Two nights ago we went to the club house to spread out and watch TV. The kids had a blast playing with their trains and drawing on the floor. I enjoyed satellite Christian programming. We watched a Christian movie. It was so nice to have positive TV to watch.

Last night we took our new neighbors and friends over to watch Left Behind. Besides a large screen TV there is also a VCR DVD player. So we brought popcorn and spread out to enjoy the show. We had a slight problem getting the movie started but that was solved when we put batteries into the remote. It was nice to share an evening with another Christian couple. Zuma and Ed are wonderful people and have become our friends quickly. They are retired farmers and she is a retired school teacher. It is nice to have her help with motivating Zak. The children just love them.

We had a nice service here yesterday morning too. A pastor from the local non denominational church came to give a message on 2 Corinthians 1. Which is about God using the trials that we go through now to help refine us to help other people later in life. I just kept thinking praise God in all things that we may be purified for His use. When we returned home I called Val and Steve and got some shocking news. Steve's brother passed away on Saturday. It looks like suicide. Steve couldn't really talk about it and I didn't want to press. We haven't called back. I just don't want to add to the burden they are already going through. Please keep them in your prayers and pray that this brings Steve close to God. I pray his eyes are opened to the need we have for a savior.

Last night I pulled my toenail off my big toe. It's still attached but only by a small part that I can't bring myself to pull off. It hurt so much. Zakary's first statement was I think we should pray. Let me tell you, that made all the difference. He prayed "God, please, please let mom's toe feel better in 10 seconds, please thank you Amen." I'll tell you it did feel better after I put the band aid on ten seconds later. He also said to me "mom if I was Jesus I would touch you and you would be healed." Oh the faith of a child. I am determined to let Zak's prayers be answered. It hurt a lot last night when I went to bed but it felt much better this morning when I woke up. It looks ugly. But I still have the nail.

The weather here has been warmer everyday. It's in the 90's now and I'm loving it. The pool was warm when we got here but over the past three days it's been getting colder and colder. Yesterday it was only 68. The hot tub was only 86 so they must have some problem. Ron and the kids were in today. I stepped in but it was too cold for me. I'm not as warm as Ron is. I love this weather and I don't find it too hot at all. Ron is sweating. It's cool at night. We had the heat on this morning.

There are hummingbirds here at the campground. I had never seen a real live one before. The are really fast. We went to Pismo beach and found more sand dollars. They are smaller here and some of them are brown. The kids dug up small clams too. It was the first time we did that. This area is really nice. There is major shopping 10 minutes away. The elementary school is in view of the ocean. There is plenty to do and see with all the farmers markets and festivals. The cost of housing is astronomical. There is now way we could buy property here. A two bedroom mobile home is going for $135,000. So it's down the coast we go. From what we hear it's only going to get more expensive. That's ok we really don't want to live here. It's too crowded. California has big water issues and the politics here is overwhelming. Too many special interest groups for me.

October 9

What a morning! Last night our new friends, Zuma and Ed, asked Ron to go to the Harvesters for them to purchase two bags of groceries at $2.50 a piece. Ron said he would as that is exactly what we want to do, help other people out. Well what a blessing this Harvesters is. I guess they have them in every county in California. It's an organization that solicits food from the grocery stores and local farmers. They truck the food to a warehouse then bag it up for people to buy for $2.50. For our money we were given a large bag of Ruffles potato chips, Tostitos corn chips still in date, broccoli, potatoes, carrots, summer squash, zucchini, a melon, grapes, day old bread, rolls, donuts, bagels, (still editable) plus milk (either gallons or quarts, we chose quarts as our refrigerator can only hold so much) and loaf bread from the bakery, you know the kind in the paper bags. It was overwhelming! Ron bought two bags before he saw what her was getting. Needless to say we had more than we could eat or store. Luckily we have another friend here, Franklin, and Ron solicited his help in removing the excess from our hands. We gave him one of the bags. The chips alone were worth $2.50. Even with all we gave away we definitely got our $5.00 worth of food. Quarts of milk out here are about $1.69. Potatoes are expensive compared to home too, $2.50 for 5 pounds. And they tax everything 8%. Yesterday we went food shopping too so we didn't have a lot of space to store all of this.

It was a blessing to receive and a blessing to have excess to give away. Our God is an awesome God and today we saw His provisions for His people. It was so nice to be able to give as well as receive. Franklin also got to share his portion with a his neighbor. He was about to go to town for milk. Franklin knew right where to go to save the man a trip into town. It was such a blessed morning. Not only that but it has given me an idea to share with my mom who is involved in St. Vincent DePaul. St. Francis has the space to gather all the food and distribute it. It would take a lot of work but once it's set up many people would benefit. I can see all the steps that need to be taken to start something like that in our area. It would take the cooperation of a trucking company, grocery stores and volunteers to assemble and sell the food. It would allow St. Vincent DePaul and opportunity to raise funds to purchase other items too. I'm sort of itchy to start the service at home. I guess administration is in my blood. From here there isn't much I can do but share the idea and hope Mom runs with it.

Ron has assembled his cover letter and resume to send to the owners of this resort. We are leaving the rest in God's care. He has more than proved to us that He is our provider.

Last night I called home and spoke with Valerie. It seems as if all if going well considering the circumstances. Gary had his bible with him in his final moments here on earth and that provides comfort to all of us. Our prayer is that, when the shock wears off and all the services are over, Steve will realize his need for a savior and will find his way to God. We all know it's God will that non should be lost, so that is our prayer for Steve. Besides that all is well back home we hear. A big surprise was the Pastor Mark is now riding a motorcycle! It's strange how talking on the phone made me think I was back home. There are so many people we miss. Out here we are dependent on God and each other. Being so close and dependent on each other has helped the broken trust mend, probably faster than it would have if we stayed home. Praise God yet again. I have so many things to be thankful for.

October 14

We had a wonderful visit with my Aunt Regina and cousin Dale and his fiancé Kim. It was different being there without my Uncle around. I can't believe it's already been 3 years since he passed away. The house is the same as I remember though. We both recognized where we were once we got close. The streets haven't changed.

We went to 6 flags Magic Mountain yesterday. I have to say overall it was the best park for entry. The security gates were before you entered the ticket area so the flow was quicker. They also had a line for season pass holders. We were able to bring in our lunch and drinks for the day. That was nice. We spent less than $15.00 and that included $8 for parking. God willing we will return tomorrow. We didn't get to ride the new coaster. It was a 3 hour wait to ride. We saved it for last but didn't want to wait that long. We hope we will get on first thing in the morning. The kids liked the park too. Nikole loves the big coasters. She rides them better than me. Zakary doesn't like them at all but he had a blast in Bug's Bunny place. And he's riding medium coasters with no problems. They are having fright fest. The kids got grab bags with candy and stuff and they had craft time. It was different being in a 6 flags gluing beans on sticks to make frames and pasta bracelets. It was a nice break though. The lines for the major coasters were over an hour except Goliath which ran 3 trains. Over all it was a roller coaster heaven. By far the best park for coaster rides. The park in Ohio was great but it didn't have the coasters this park has.

Well it's pretty late here and Ron wants to catch up too. Things are good. The weather is perfect. Warm during the day and cool at night. Love that California sun.

October 14

Today was yet another sunny day in CA. We enjoyed our day at Magic Mountain. Zakary woke us up early so we could get to the park when it opened. To us being on the road at 9:30 am as a family was a first. We tend to be late sleepers. Any way we made it. The line to X looked a lot better than it did on Saturday. We walked in pretty far. Then we waited without moving for almost 15 minutes. We decided we were going to wait until we got on. Well 3 hours later we were 2 rides away when they decided to do a 15 minute safety check. We had waited that long we were not about to leave the line then. Zakary stayed by the exit for over an hour. He was so good waiting for us. We finally got to ride. It was scary, but they all are to me the first time. Really though it wasn't worth the wait. The ride started backwards then flipped so we were face down on the first hill then I have no idea what happened. I do know I got shifted a lot and at one point the people who were behind me were in front of me. I was glad when it ended. Even Nikole who is fearless didn't enjoy that ride at all. It was disorienting. It wasn't even close to the x flight in Ohio, which is my favorite coaster of all. We all were disappointed with the ride. It's not worth 3 hours in line!

Zakary went on the first loop coaster ever built called Revolution. He didn't really know it was a loop until he was buckled in. We told him it was a big coaster and it went fast with not too big of drops. He had concurred the other small metal coaster and was enjoying himself on the flume ride. So while we were on the hill he asked if there was a loop. I said yes one. He thought he wouldn't like it after that. Well we went back 3 times. He absolutely loved it. He was so proud of his ability to "handle" the loop. He was so cute. He refused to go on Superman though. Which, as long as you breath out at take off, is really not a scary ride at all. You don't even feel the fall on Superman. Over all after the incredibly long wait for X the day went well.

I think my husband enjoys CA. There is a lot to see and do. It's really neat to have mountains all around. The weather is great too. Housing is unbelievably expensive though. The average 3bdrm home is $265,000. That is a little steep for us. Plus there are a lot of water issues that have to be looked into depending where one lives. It's really amazing that some people only make $7.25 an hour and pay $1300 a month to rent a 2bdrm apt. We can't figure out how it's done. Mobil home parks are really popular too. Those are fairly reasonable but then you have to pay monthly park dues which is just like renting in a way.

So far we have no job leads but Ron really hasn't been filling out a lot of applications. We are not able to use the internet here. We will update at my Aunt Regina's house. God willing we will spend the night at her house tomorrow then meet Dale at Disney and have a fun day with Mickey on Wednesday. By staying with my aunt we will save an hour drive at rush hour traffic. Downtown LA is a nightmare. The freeways here are crazy. Some times you have 6 lanes sometimes 3. A sign will announce your exit but if you get in the right lane you will be taken off one exit before the one you want. Then there are the speed differences with the drivers. There are those that drive 45, 55, and 65 then you have the 85-95ers that fly by you and make you think your standing still when your doing 70. All this while weaving in and out of packed roads with people getting on and off. It is quite the experience. Boston is a piece of cake compared to the freeways out here.

We thank God that He is with us all the time!

October 20

Our days have been full of travel and visiting. Our friend Franklin from the last campground came to visit us on Tuesday. It was nice to have a visitor to entertain. It makes the trailer feel more like a home. After he left we headed to my Aunt's house to sleep. She is much closer to Disneyland so we figured it would be a smart move to avoid morning traffic. We didn't get to sleep until 2 am. It made for a late start on Wednesday.

Disneyland was fun but the children have lost their awe of the place. Most of the rides the kids had already been on. We did have a new one called Indiana Jones. Ron and I really liked it. The kids did not. Too many sharp turns in the dark. It was a very adventurous ride. The kids did enjoy climbing Tarzan's tree house and the riding the boat into Story land. Innovations was really cool too. We didn't get to do everything but mostly everything we wanted to do. We even got to see the parade. Ron and I both agreed that the kids are getting too big to hold on our shoulders for any length of time.

I saw Disney through a new set of eyes. I just can't believe how much evil is portrayed as part of every ride or display. Magic is everywhere and if you sing When You Wish Upon A Star it's apparent that there is no thought of God in anything Disney. I have to say that as a person who wishes to make God the focal point of my life I won't be supporting anything Disney from now on. It will really hard to do especially since it's everywhere and the kids have been exposed to it. It would be so nice to have more Christian entertainment. In California sin is commonplace and morals are missing. I can't imagine what the public schools would be like. According to my cousin Judy there is a feeling that one cannot say what it right or wrong in a public forum. Everyone's beliefs must be accepted and although you may disagree with the sin speaking out against it is not acceptable.

I wasn't very good at witnessing my love for God. Basically she didn't want to talk about "religion or politics." Personally God is what I want to talk about. It was apparent that not much time is given by my cousins to the pursuit of God. Both Ron and I left Judy's house a little saddened by the lack of a spiritual life in my cousins. I love them and I pray that on Thursday Ron and I will have the opportunity to witness to them in a way that will be in love and that they will at least hear how important it is to have a personal relationship with God. The only way to do that is to tell them how much God and His word has changed our lives and explain that we want them to share in the joy of the Lord. As for my Aunt we know she has a solid belief in God and that she is leading a Christian walk. She is like my mom when it comes to talking about the Catholic church so that is a subject we will try to avoid for her comfort.

Judy has a very nice house. Big for one person. She is on a corner lot too. The kids had fun. We played a short game of tag. With the pool in back the only yard is out front. It was nice to be out in shorts in October.

It was nice to be back and relax today. We had a quiet day playing mini golf, pool, puzzles, and legos. Ron has been making quite the vehicles for the kids. Nikole and I finally made her dough. We cooked starch, salt and water to make a white moldable dough. She bugged me all day to make it. We did and she played about 30 minutes. We are watching the second game of the world series. A day of rest is much appreciated.

The past two nights Ron has been reading the bible to the kids. I am so happy that he is willing to do that. I know he's been listening when I have been reading. He's had many questions. Difficult one's too. I am praying that God gives Ron a direction to go in. We are getting low on funds and would like to leave the money in the bank until January if possible.

I was getting anxious about the whole situation. (Which means I was getting very crabby and snappy.) With lots of prayer I realized that my dependence needs to be on God, not Ron. When I finally settled that I was able to discuss with Ron why I was so irritable. He is now saying he will do whatever it takes to make money when the time comes. It's a comfort to know that Ron is willing to be the moneymaker and that he understands why I will not jump up and take the lead this time. I think we are getting closer all the time. I know that when I'm living the moments it's hard for me to see the progress. It's only when I step back and take a look at the whole picture I can see the changes. God is so good to me. I have such an awe and wonder at how He is always working things for my good. I can't say with words how much I love Him and want to give myself to His service. I get frustrated because I don't think I'm doing anything. The truth is I'm not. He is and I thank Him for that.

October 25

We are currently driving down Rout 10 towards Indio California. It is southeast of Palm Springs. Hopefully it will be warmer there. The temperatures have been on the cooler side the past few days. Yesterday we wore our jackets the whole day. It was only in the high 60"s. Ron decided two days ago that we would head southeast.

We had a fun day yesterday with my cousins and aunt at Universal Studios. The kids had a really good time. All the explosions were new to them though. I realized, while we were there, that they have never seen such things in the movies. Since the explosions were new to them, and they could feel the intensity of the heat, it caused both of them to have nightmares. They called for their father to help them. He was up most of the night. Then when he finally returned to his bed Nikole followed him. She slept very well after that.

The day was overcast but really comfortable. My cousins took us to Tony Roma's for dinner. It was excellent. The portions were huge and we all left more than satisfied. The kids love my cousin Judy. She has a way with kids. Zakary is especially taken with her. He even changed who he is rooting for in the world series. Now he wants the Giants to win because they are his cousin Judy's team. He is so cute. I can't believe how well my aunt Regina did. She kept up with all of us walking around the park. We were able to see everything too. She is in great shape for her age. It was fun spending one last day with them before we left. Judy thinks she may be able to join us in Indio too. It would be so nice to have her see the motor home and spend some time with us. She has never had potato sticks. We are looking forward to introducing her to them.

After we parted with them we went in search for our jeep. I say in search because we lost it. We walked around the garage for a good 15 minutes before we located it. We were actually on our way to get help when we found it. We were on the wrong level of coarse. It was a good opportunity to praise God again. Nikole asked why God let us loose our car. It was a good opportunity to explain that bad things happen to good people. That God allows these trials to come to us to strengthen us and that it is important how we handle the adversity. I also told her not to worry because God would provide a way for us no matter what happened. Then I said maybe we should pray and ask Him for wisdom and guidance. As soon as I said that we found the jeep. God proves Himself faith full in the small things in our lives and I know that will do more to teach the children than my words will. I can vividly remember so many times He has proven His word to the children. It strengthens my faith as well. At dinner we had an opportunity to mention how important God was in our lives but we really didn't get the opportunity to witness to them.

I woke up a few nights back and all I could think about was how I would witness to them. I couldn't get back to sleep. It was as if God was filling me with the words to share with others. I regret not getting up and writing them down. I know they are in my heart and I will speak them to anyone who will listen.

As we travel south we are being treated to new and exciting sites. The temperature is getting warmer as well. We are now close to Palm Springs. There are thousands of wind turbine generators on the sides of the highways. Ron is saying it makes him dizzy to see them all. There are also mile long trains going by us for the Union Pacific Railroad. The land has opened up and the mountains around us have grew. The land is even more arid and desert like. The sand is whiter and the wind stronger. We are now approaching the Desert Hot Springs.

We love going to new places. The traveling in between is the challenge. The traffic out here is much worse than what we are used to. We have two lane- four lane traffic jams. Here there are 6 to 8 lanes with other 4 lane highways merging. The number of trucks on the roads is unbelievable. I don't think I've ever seen so many 18 wheelers in my life and they are out here every day! So for as much as we like California the traffic, the politics, and the cost of living are draw backs. Ron gets very tense driving around here. Come to think of it he would get tense at home too. Maybe it's just him.

October 30,

We have been enjoying our stay here in Bermuda Dunes. The campground is just outside of Indio. The weather it awesome. 80+ and sunny every day. It's nice to be warm again.

Ron has been looking for campground work. So far he hasn't found anything. I think we like the area and this may be a place we will stay. Ron hasn't given me any definite answers. We like the weather and it appears there are jobs available it will depend on where we can stay. That is why he is looking for a campground to work in. God willing he will find something soon.

My cousin Judy came here on Sunday to visit. We had a fun day together. Before she left we had a great talk about my uncle. It was nice to talk about him. I still can't believe that I miss him so much. To me he was California.

We have gotten library cards here. The kids enjoyed story hour and are enjoying all the new books. Ron has even taken up reading the Boxcar Children series. I can't remember seeing him read so much.

I am trying not to stress out about our future. It's nice to be able to tell Ron how I feel. He seems to understand but he hasn't jumped up and gotten a job yet. I know I have to be patient. I know that God's work is so much more important than anything I'm worried about. I wish to be involved in a church or ministry. I know that my ministry is at home with my two children. It does my heart good to hear them talk about God so much. We talk about God and read the bible every day. They look forward to prayer. In fact they can't sleep without it. I know that God is having me teach them of Him. It is an awesome responsibility. It is by His grace, strength and love that we get through each day. I praise Him continually.

November 5

Ron and I went on a job interview today. It was at a local campground. It would have been a work - camp job where we exchange labor for a space. The manager told us to check back the second week in December. The season around here begins in January. We aren't too sure if that will work to our advantage. We think we'll be better off to use the ROD and work outside the parks. That way we are working for cash which is what we need. Actually we think we may be able to tough it out. We're not too sure. Ron is going back to Wal Mart tomorrow. They are looking for seasonal help and that is what he would like to do. I know he's planning on going back to South Dakota in the spring.

We have been enjoying the sunshine. Today it was actually hot! I love it! I really like this place. It's dry and there are mountains all around us. The weather is dependable and there are a lot of stores around. This would be a nice place to spend the winter. Ron was saying that Arizona is much cheaper though. Most campgrounds here charge 600 + a month. In Arizona it's only 300+. So we may just stay here until after Christmas. Life is so undecided. I am getting bored. Going from 46 hour a week with volunteering at the church to being home 24-7 is starting to wear on me. I'm not working out either and I am putting on weight. Too many McDonald dinners and almonds. It's hard to get motivated. I guess I just have to do it.

The kids are doing really good with school. I have started using the white board. We are working on grammar mostly. Zakary is becoming quite the reader. We are so proud of him. Nikole is struggling with subtraction. She can do it she just doesn't want to. It's too hard she says. I've noticed she has trouble concentrating. She's always listening to what I say to Zak and not doing what she should be doing. I wish I had more craft ideas and I was a craftier person. I know I'm stifling her creativity. Today we talked about leaving them here while we went to the interview. Ron and I agreed that Zak would stay glued to the TV and not get into trouble. We also knew that Nikole would make a huge mess. She said "I will do craft stuff." Needless to say we took them.

We do go to the local library for Monday night story time. It is some thing at least. Most of the children speak fluent Spanish. The teacher speaks English but at times she has to speak Spanish. It's good for the kids to be exposed to the Mexicans. Here there are more Mexicans than whites. Even Ron said that he would like to take a Spanish class if we stay here. We love going to the libraries. There are two of them that we visit. One for story time one for books and movies.

Life marches on. It's amazing how fast time is going by. I feel like I'm wasting so much of it. Then the kids will talk about God and I realize that they are learning more than I think. We read the bible every night. We are currently in Exodus. It gives me an opportunity to learn, and teach, and explain why and how. I understand who is connected to who now. Going through it slowly and carefully has made a difference. The kids enjoy it. Even Ron listens and reads too. That is a big step. One I overlook some times. God is working in our home. I thank and praise Him for that and these moments He gives me.

November 18,

Ron is at work today. He is doing some remodeling for the regional managers of this Campground. Yesterday he followed a job lead that they gave him. It didn't work out so he stopped in to see them. He was able to meet Joyce's husband Joe and we explained what we were looking for in terms of work and pay. Joe offered to have Ron go out there to work on the clubhouse project. It's sort of a try out. If it all goes well we'll probably get work from the owner. He will be at that campground and Ron will get to meet him today. They are looking for a management team to work nights checking in people. We heard that the kids are a turn off. I have a rebuttal for that argument. We'll see if I get to use it.

It's strange not having Ron around all day. He's been gone for a couple of hours before but never the whole day. In a way it's nice. I have some time to myself. With him home and the kids being around I'm either busy entertaining Ron or them. This way when the kids are playing quietly then I have time to myself. I haven't had time to update this page in a long time.

We found the local Assembly of God when we were in Indian Waters Campground. We stayed there over the past two weeks. We had gone for a bike ride and it was only a block away. It was a great service. The worship is cutting edge. We didn't know the words but we loved the rhythm. The church is in Indio which is 85 % Mexican. We thought that the service would be in Spanish. It wasn't. The congregation was small, mostly Mexican but it didn't matter at all. We felt at home right away. It even smelled like home. It's the presence of the Lord I'm sure. The pastor gave a great sermon that spoke to us and where we are right now in our lives. He mentioned 6 ways to do the will of God three of them that hit home were you must have a vision for you life spiritually, you must take a risk, and you must perserver. These three things are happening in our lives today. Ron has a vision of owning a campground. My vision of a Christian Retreat Campground has been reborn. I had that vision 4 years ago. When Ron gave up I did too. I see now that it wasn't God I gave up on as it was Ron. It's been hard allowing him to take the lead in the family. It's been hard supporting his desire to do this. I realize now that the vision never left him. He gave up on God. It wasn't until he went to Mexico that he realized it. Then he was able to see the vision again. God didn't change, Ron did. Ron took a risk giving everything up. He even risked going to see Joyce and her husband. He persevered even though they told him sorry a couple of times. He has the vision to own a campground and he is going after it. He knows he'll have to start at the bottom. He knows he needs to learn the ins and the outs of the business. He also knows it will take a lot of work and that on our own there is no way we'll afford it. He also knows that what God has started He is faithful to complete. And that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens us. We are now relying on God is a way we never has before. It takes walking through the desert to see our need to depend totally on Him.

We enjoyed being in the presence of the Lord with a church family. We went back for the evening service to see the Teen Challenge men's choir. They were awesome. Their leader was an on fire Jesus Freak and he didn't care who knew. In fact he wanted the world to know. To listen to the stories these men told and to see the transformation they go through is an awesome tribute to the power of God and His word.

Yesterday we found a church family, the children will be in the Christmas play, I volunteered to bring a snack for their Kingdom Kids class, and Ron found a job. All the things that have been weighing heavily on my heart. All the things I have laid before the Lord He gave to me in one day. It's taken less than a month to see my prayers come to pass. He is an awesome God. It was a real struggle to stay calm. Not to worry. Not to fret. To give up control to Him. He proved Himself faithful again. I have received so many conformations of His love for me on this trip. Even before we left during the hardest time of my life I never lost sight of His love for me. I am so thankful for that.

Tonight we will be going to the Library for story time. The kids are looking forward to the crafts and being with their new friends. I saw a difference in them yesterday after we left church. They need go get away from us some times too.

Speaking of difference Zakary lost his upper tooth a couple of days ago. It's amazing how much a hole will change a persons appearance. Nikole's teeth are finally coming in. Her face is changing too. She will be 8 in a couple of months. Only 10 more years to go! Time really has gone fast.

They are both doing really well with school. Today they worked really hard on their tests. School is becoming a routine. That makes it easier for all of us.

The weather is still beautiful. It's cooler here in Bermuda Dunes at night than it was in Indio. We have been using the heater. Last night we turned it on. I looked at the thermometer it read 78 degree. Imagine putting on the heat when it's 78! I guess we're getting acclimated to the 90's.